when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
