im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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