Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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