I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Nicole vs. Life
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
