so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
