shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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