that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
