i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
