I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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