I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
