what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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