I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
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It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.