I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
