Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
