he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
