I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
