I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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