I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
