Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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