mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
