Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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