I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
