Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
