We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
