I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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