I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
