Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
