You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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