And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize