paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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