i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
