batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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