The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
