dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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