I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
