Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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