Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
