i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
