Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize