is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize