youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
