Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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