My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
