we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
