I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
