we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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