she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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