the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize