I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
