We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
