More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
