you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
