is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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