I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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