im about as happy as oj after his trial
we made out on top of his cat.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
