people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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