And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
