I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
