She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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