I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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