What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
