"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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