Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
