doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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