Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
