remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
